THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
Not quite finito, but you live with it. I'll be adding more.
REVISED CAST LIST!
The Jo's Ho's
ALIX- One of the best friends for over ten years. And all that jazz. She likes goats. And hates everything. And aspires to be in parades...Yeah.
EMILY- Hail to The Insula. Latin class buddy, who's as crazy as I am. In a cool way.
ANGELINE- Master of the Yenny-Loafers. We have yet to turn her into a sailor-mouthed heathen. But getting closer. She said "crap" a few days ago!
DIANA- Part Four of The Insula.
INA- But you can call her Hilary Faye. She's trying to convert me to Catholism.
PRICILLA- Stupid emo fuck. Trying soooo hard to impress me with all her fabulous knowledge of various punk bands. And likes to tell the world about a.) every show she went to, b.) how jealous we all should be that we did not go, c.) her ten thousand boyfriends, and d.) how she's always horny. I've watched her lick pictures of Robert Smith...Ew.
Teachers Worth Mentioning
Mrs. Hernandez- English teacher who wears her hair in Malefocent horns and threatened to stab me with a pencil. Makes frequent "goth" and Morrissey remarks in order to appear "hip".
Mr. B.- Drama teacher. Totally, 100% nuts. We get a long that way.
Ms. Witz- "Algebra" teacher. We spend fifty minutes every day talking about which Rockapella concert she just attended.
Mr. Marino- Ex. PE Teacher/TOTAL CHILD MOLESTER/missing link. He was not hairy- he was furry. Responsible for such gems as "If you were a washcloth, and I sqeezed you out- how much of you would drip on the floor?" and "HAMILTON! Go touch the fence. You're disturbing". Suprisingly, he's the only one who's said it to my face.
Ms. Owens- Religion teacher who likes me for being an open-minded heathen.
The Family
MOM- Despite obvious genetic mutations, I seem to have inherited ALL of this woman's mannerisms and characteristics.
DAD- He wears Buddy Holly glasses and burns copies of my Rancid CDs for himself. And also likes Bulgarian Folk Orchestra Music.
MADDY- Younger sister. She attacked me with a hammer once. We had to fight her off while she laughed maniaclly and then went to go dance with the cat. She's the crazy one, and THAT's saying something.
ALBERT- Cat Number 1. Meatloaf with legs. Both mentally, and physically. He is afraid of the floor, has the memory of a flowerpot, and talks to the walls. When they said "We're all mad here", this is what they meant.
TABBY- Cat Number 2. Blind. And fat. And tries to pee like a boy cat because she's incredibly senile and can't even remember her own ovaries.
TIGER- Cat Number 3. Hitler, resurrected as a cat. He pees in the stove burners. So when you turn on the stove...Not cool.
SWEETIE- Ugliest. Dog. Ever. Has a foot fetish and likes to bite my toes. Constantly.
The Extended Family
NIKI- Alix's sister. She's super cool. And 'in' with the 'in' crowd. Meaning us. Meaning she's super privledged enough to be an Almost-AntiSocial Sunshine-Hellraiser. Almost.
MILENA- When she lies down, her J-Lo ass is higher than her head. It's Ms. Melinda Grass- and she'll karate chop you down. I had a dream she had a mohawk once. Heh heh heh...Top knots....
LIESA- To explain this girl, would take days. Former friend/still kind of friend/still hates us. Future stalker- and I mean that seriously and literally. And has obsessions with being a man. No joke. She's our stalker/transvestite pal who lives down with all the Oakies.
The Dodsonites
CHELSEA- Here. Hella hardcore uber bitchin, man. Super, super cool person. I'm really lucky to have met you. DC wouldn't have been the same- or the rest of the year either. Bwahaha...Frosting....
A-MAN-DUH- Here. Gets me (whether I like it or not). The ul-ti-mate moral booster. Balleterina. Also crazy. "George, dear- your skin is flaking in the butter!" Emolicious, baby.
AMANDA- Here. The oh-so-fabulous Amanda-who-I-never-get-to-talk-to-anymore. Also Sean Brennan's future/unknown wife. Also Robert Smith obsessed. Also Manson obsessed. "No wonder he killed her!"
PAULI- Here. The most hella-hardcore-ELECTRIC FUDGE!-tippy-bitchin malnourished ninth grader out there. And she has the bange to prove it.
VANESA- Here. Ex Dodsonitis Victim, who I only started talking to...After I left. Weirdness. Anyway, now she gets to see hot Pedro boys everyday. *Jealous*