THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
I can remember trying to explain to James once the physical difference between happy tears and sad tears. He never believed me, but that's predictable.
I happy cry as an adult now- Well, not happy- But the tears are cold, that's the difference-
Before I started taking medication, it actually felt like there was poison coming out of my eyes. It stung and burned and hurt my face it was so hot. Boiling hot, for hours.
It was really painful, to cry like that. I would cry for hours, unable to soothe myself, and I would hurt my ribs and my stomach from crying so hard, my body would ache for days. The tears themselves were so painful.
Now I am often awake extremely late at night, listening to music or watching a film and I find myself overcome with tears. I can never quite predict what will set it off. The Olympics made me cry uncontrollably. Marina Ambramovic makes me cry. My Chemical Romance makes me cry a lot.
The tears are cool. They come out, but leave no mark, no harm on my body. They just come and go and I do not understand them. I am choked up, teary, but not as I was.