THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
I lose all sense of identity every summer
I am aimless at the best moment, but when I trade one home for the other, they both cancel out
It's been a year away from you and I'm only now totally ready to give you up. It was the grown up thing to try to stay your friend, to try to keep you, to try to stay- You were my best friend, and it was the grown up thing to try to make it work despite overwhelming difficulties-
I am permanently wandering over the summer. I haven't loved you in a long time but I still feel as lost as I did the moment you were ripped away from me.
I quit my job. I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know how to be all the people that I have been. I don't know how they condense. They come back half remembered in the therapist's office, but are otherwise known only to me. I am many secret people.
And now
Now-