THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
The more I think about this, the more upsetting an idea it becomes. I have never been closer to people than I am in this life now. I have never loved people more, been surer of my actions. I have never felt like my life was at the correct speed until now. I have never felt like I have a life that belonged to me until here. Never felt the pangs of dependancy, of direct, acute loneliness.
But if someone told me I had to leave- I could do it without trouble.
Even after this, after the sureness that this is my home, after a growing desperate need for your inclusion in my life-
I could still let go. Still tear everything apart and put it back together somewhere else.
And even though this disturbs me, I find the idea of not being able to do it- of reaching a point where I couldn't reasonably walk away- infinitely more frightening.