THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
I want to peel off all my skin, cut off all my hair, throw away all my clothes, shed a thousand pounds, forget everything I like, move to Scotland, and never come back.
I dreamt about the both of you last night and felt like I never really woke up. We were laying in a bed, the three, and I rolled over trying to get comfortable, in the cool grey, and you turned and whispered Shhh.
I don't know if it's just the summertime, but I am recently consumed by so powerful a self hatred I am completely startled by it. Some monster woke up; I am totally repulsed by my reflection, I am sick at the sight of me.
They drove to pick up the ashes today. I laid in the dark, wishing I was someone else.