THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
I have not heard one word from you in over a year and a half. I have no idea where you are or what you're doing or if you're alright. The last I heard you sounded happy. I don't think I did.
And it's funny, because I look back on all the things we said and all the things we liked and it all seems so silly. Delusional nearly, and ridiculous and obsessive and avoidant. I look back on things, and it would appear that we had nearly nothing in common- Unless things changed extremely drastically, we'd seem to be on different planets now. I can't imagine, I cannot possibly comprehend a way that our lives could line up in any sort of sensible way anymore.
But.
But. Even if it was silly- You were the only person I could be honest with, the only person ever, in my whole life, who I felt understood any of it, and you were the only ONLY person I ever genuinely and deeply felt connected to.
That was almost five years ago, you know? Right here.
You missed out on all of the most important things that happened to me. I am, physically and psychologically, unrecognizable. I assume only that you are as well.
But I still feel a tie to you. And not in a silly, ridiculous sort of way, but in a genuine way.
I would like to find you again. I don't know if you feel the same. But I would like to find you, if only to say a goodbye.