THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE

01-22-06 . 9:52 pm

Dear Everyone I Know,
YOU'RE FUCKING BORING.

It's like every time I talk, I'm the only one who's listening.

And I'm so fucking sick.

I had a little panic attack yesterday and kind of... Passed out. I just slept for hours today. And yesterday. I just... Slept.

And everytime I work up, my head would hurt so bad I'd just have to go back to sleep.

I wish I could really explain what happened, but I don't know if I can.

My dad came in and told me we were gonna (finally) buy a memory card for my camera.

But I couldn't remember where it was.

So I started to panic because I knew- I knew that he'd just yell at me and call me a fucking waste of space if I really had lost it, and he already thinks it.

And I'm on the ground looking for it, litterally ripping things apart. I cut my hand. But I still couldn't find it, so I start crying and shaking and I can't breath.

And when I finally do find it, I still can't stop and I can't put on my makeup or tie my shoes so we can go because my hands keep shaking.

And then later that night, I don't really remember why it happened- I just got these horrible stabbing pains all down the right side of my chest and couldn't breath.

So I just laid down and the cat slept on my pillow and purred into it and it felt better.

And today my head hurt so bad I kept getting dizzy.


And I don't really feel like telling anyone.

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