THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
So here's the story, and I'd lay it out word by word for you, but it'll only take one:
PARANOIA
I'm getting a little... Manic.
And, anyway, my body's back in the state of revolting back against me and I don't really know why.
Everything's been about the future lately, though, so you can't quite blame me. Our plan thus far- Find some big city art school, change our major about a hundred times, wind up with a peice of paper to verify what you've been able to do your whole life, end up semi-miserable and bored for the rest of our lives.
Well.
Let me break that logic into two ways of thinking, one that's simple... And one that's not so simple:
1. I have a tendancy to look at absolutely everyone around and see only people who are fed up and unhappy with their lives. I believe it's just some pathetic form of bringing them all down with me, but it's probably just the reisdue of a house full of people of the same variety.
You know, I've just got this idea of life that no one actually ever ends up satisfied.
I know what would satisfy me, but I don't think it's something I could realistically do. Though realism never got anyone anywhere, I suppose and I should just live it up. You know, why not try.
I don't know.
So, anyway, all I can see from going and getting a degree in something I could make a career out of is a life of unfulfillment.
2. Nothing matters.
And that, honestly, is not just apathy kicking in. Let me explain:
There are many things that I am very good at. There are many things that I could probably do for the whole rest of my life and end up completely okay with.
But they don't mean anything.
They don't mean anything to me and there's no way that I could make any viable change from them. And change is important, cause there's no way to move foreward as a scene or as a society without it.
You know, I could go and do all this stuff- but what could I do with it?
I could write books and who'd ever hear what I was saying? I could take pictures, but no one'd ever see them. I could go into theatre and build things up, but nothing would ever come of it except time wasted.
There is a specific group of people who need a message thrown out to them and nothing I could do would go out and grab them.
So, in conclusion, I hate everything. Kind of.