THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
I had another Davey dream last night....
Except this time he wasn't my mom or God, nor were we having conversations in cars.
It had something to do with hiking...And my sister's guinea pig Lola...
I kind of wish that I could actually remember what happened, but the prospect is a little daunting, so it might be better that I don't....
Anyway, so my mom and I were in a super market yesterday buying bagels, tin foil, and starbucks, and we see this copy of Glamour magazine with two of the most NON-specific things on the cover.
It said "Top 100 don'ts of all time" and "8 things never to say to a man."
Okay, WOW.
Of all time?
And you know what they really were? Like, don't wear huge tye dye tshirts. Don't tuck your baggy pastel tank top into your acid wash highwater shorts. Don't wear children's bathing suits.
Of all TIME? Like you actually needed to be TOLD THOSE THINGS?
So we made our own lists.
Here's the one for the top eight things to say to a man (my mom did this one):
1. I had sex with your mother.
2. My dog had sex with your mother.
3. You had sex with your mother.
4. You and my dog had sex with your mother.
5. Me and my dog had sex with your mother.
6. Everyone had sex with your mother.
7. You're on fire.
8. I'm going to set you on fire.
And so it went on and on....
For quite a while actually....
But that's my mom....
OH. And I bought this bitchin sunglasses yesterday. They're so awesome.
They're big and trendy like everyone's now. [ Big Bug Eye glasses ]
Only, unlike everyone else, I paid 99 cents for mine.
And they're still better than yours.
When I say that I adore this band...You don't know how much I mean it.