THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
So I went to go see Star Wars with my mom and Alix tonight.
And GOOD LORD.
What a waste of time.
Okay, now, don't get me wrong. I AM A HUGE LOSER. Like way. In a I-go-to-buy-my-Harry-Potter-books-at-midnight kind of way.
But this was stretching.
And the when His Evil Hottness turned into Lord Stumpy The Limbless Wonder...Well. That was just disappointing. And cruel. To us.
And then there was the shifting pregnancy! You know how in the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy's braids change lengths? Well in this one, Padme's pregnency moves! CONSTANTLY. We were really hoping it would just take it all the way and end up on her back.
Also, HELLO. Was the writing ALWAYS that bad? I mean, okay, I was in 2nd grade when I saw all the other ones and everything...But good lord. It was like a terrible fanfiction written by 13 year old Tamora Peirce fan. "Now...We must move into the chamber for if we don't we will face most emmenant danger..."
Other things to look for:
�Mysterious Reptiles: Oh look, everybody's riding around on little robot flying thingies. I'M GOING TO RIDE A BIG LOUD SQUEELING DRAGON. Because THAT will make me win! THAT will make me invincible!!!
�Inconsistant powers- Look, now I fall like a rock. Now I can fly and jump six feet in the air. Now I can't pick up my light saber. Now I can choke you with my magic brain lightening!
�Half hour pointless light sabor fights- Really. Who cares?
�So Much DARKNESS- And, no, I don't mean metaphorically. Like, they never turned the lights on. Are we Experiencing intergalactic rolling blackouts or something? Or did Star Wars turn into CSI and decide they were too good to have conversations with the lights on???
All in all, nothing beats the old ones. And when you ONLY GO SEE the new ones to look at Padme's pretty clothes, and she doesn't wear any it's kind of a downer.
Other than seeing Star Wars, I also dressed up all my cats in funny clothes and took pictures of them. I had little sombreros and everything.
I am not a loser. Damnit.