THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
So last night was when there was a breakthrough. Cause I'm betting that I did something right when people put their asses on the line with their friends to help me out.
So I get this phone call. And a girl I know, never really talked to her or anything, says she has to, has to talk to me.
She had the notebook.
But she didn't steal it. She took it from a friend. Who stole it.
But that's pretty cool, you know. To have somebody call you to say that she didn't think that we were that way and she had our stuff.
So then today, I had to go to the bathroom really, really bad.
At exactly 8:30.
And recieve a brown bagged package she had been hiding in her sweatshirt. And it was back.
So after that victory, we had another, and another, and another.
We had a class meeting where everything was explained. We talked with five girls who we hurt the most. We went around to groups and told them that we were sorry for everything no matter what. Ms. Witz forgave us and told us she still loved us.
But, you know what? I still don't feel victorious.
I feel like fucking crying.
Because, as it turns out, being disappointed in by somebody who put so much fucking trust in you, and being yelled at by him for being incredibly stupid- that's worse than everybody calling us lesbians like they did.
It was a hit right where we didn't expect it.
And he was so mad. And so upset.
All through lecture, he kept mentioning us without meaning it in kind of negative ways.
We all just stood oustide after and said "Fuck. That was the worst thing ever."
And it really was.
I can't explain it to you, cause he's our fucking drama teacher, but it's not like that. Nobody else got it either. But when you eat sleep and breathe drama like we do and have just been given an INCREDIBLE amount of responsibility like we have....Maybe I'll get to that part later....
It's just....It's fucking hard.
Of everybody, it's worst having him be mad at us.
It's not something I can explain.
And I know that if it happens again, we're just gonna lose it. Me and Jordan were almost crying all period.
I don't know how to make it better. Everything else fell together, but this one didn't. Which'll probably make it even more important when it does. Because it will. But this is hard.
So I painted a GIANT- poster size- sorry card. It's all watercolor. I might take a picture of it. It says:
"We're so sorry for being SO stupid
(/irresponisible/ disappointments/ useless/ shameful/ idiots etc)
WE NEVER MEANT IT TO HAPPEN.
Please don't set us on fire.
Love,
LisaxRebeccaxAshleyxLizzxJordan"
Everyone says people should be saying sorry to us, but I don't know if they should.
It wouldn't help anyway.