THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
Ugh.
I smell like dog.
And, my friends, not just any dog. No. I get to smell like MY dog. Who, in case you've never had the pleasure of meeting him, smells first like dog, then like dog spit, and THEN like about ten different varieties of illegal chemicals due to the fact that he is constantly medicated because of his rashes that are making all his hair fall out.
I swear. That dog has more medications than my eighty year old grandparents.
Though none of them remeber to, you know, actually take their medicines. I blame the dog.
And I'm sick. Yeah, me. Sick. GREAT.
Actually I suggest some of you come over- then I can get you sick and we can be sick together. And wallow in out sickness- but at least we won't be alone.
How's that for reassuring?
And now- because every good day is followed with one twofolds worse, my ancient neighbor is having her roof redone.
Not that I'm complaining- it's been growing feilds of mold since I was about eight years old.
Maybe she should keep it there we can open a farm there. We can call it Moldy Acres, and I'll charge three dollars admission. And we can have a Moldy Acres Gift Shop.
But really. For the past hour, this is what I've been hearing every ten minutes or so:
"HOW'S IT COMING?" (In a deaf person talking to a not-deaf person in a talking-to-a-deaf-person kind of way)
"Oh, it's coming along."
"WHAT???!"
"I SAID IT'S COMING ALONG!"
"OH, IT'S COMING ALONG?"
"YES, MA'AM."
"Alright then...Stupid kids never talk loud enough....When I was growing up..."
And then, really to just top off my fabulous day, I got to see Kendalltheslut.
And doing what else besides reclaiming her title?
I really needed to see her in her still-skimpy clothes making out with some skate trash ON A STREET CORNER.
So, yes. Yes, my day was lovely. I hope the rest of this year is just FULL of days JUST LIKE THIS ONE.
~~Double Z ha ha ha...
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