THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
Fucked day.
Well. Maybe not. I'm never sure.
I just wish that I could let the emotional PMS-y self doubting part of my psyche take control once in a while.
I never get all weird and emotional like all the fuckers at my school because I have a tendancey to look at things realisticly and logically.
Flaw or not. Fact, fact.
Like today.
In my "Health" class, we had to come up with twenty negative statements a tennage femal would say about herself, in these little groups of five.
So we each did four. Kind of.
I just bullshitted most of them. And then put "I have no worthwhile talents" as mine.
Don't even start. They did.
They just looked at me and said "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Well. Exactly.
Wouldn't it be nice to recognize potential in ourselves as it comes?
Did you know that I get people coming up to me asking them to do tattoo things on them?
How weird is that?
Yeah. Great. I like puting ink onto peoples flesh. So kill me.
That'll really pay the bills.
Fuck that, man. I hate everythiing else I can do.
Or, rather, I've had too much expose to it to make it seem appealing.
I don't know. This isn't really going anywhere.
I miss you guys.
People know who I am here and I don't like it.
And even when everyone knows my name, I can't seem to have real friends.
Fuck that. I need people who look at me through the flaws, and not as an anomale.
I don't want to be the weird girl who draws bizarre shit and listens to music that you don't like, because I get that from everyone in the whole world.
Dammit. That goddamn black hole's pulling me back in.
I have to stop.
Leave me notes, I'm feeling lonely.
EDIT:>>>> I just took four pages of notes on self esteem, self confidence, and being good to the people around you.
I am such a fuck up. I apologize to everyone.
My health book says that I'm an aweful person.
It's not my goddamn fault that only one thing matters to me, and I'd stop everything for it.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
NOTES. LEAVE ME FUCKING NOTES.