THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
I'm naming this weekend 80's New Wave Weekend.
I just am.
I'm in a new wave thing right now.
I'm just bored, I think.
Blame the fact that I've been listening to the same one Cure song and same one Smiths song for the past hour and a half.
What can I say? This is all I love in the whole world, and I don't know what to do about that.
I had to spend all day at my grandparents house today.
My Grandfather gave me an extremely long lecture about what colleges I wanted to go to.
Does it GET more depressing than THAT?
No, no it does not.
I'm the one kid in the whole family who's never had her whole life planned out for her at age twelve.
Yeah, that's right.
My parents have always had their thing.
What about me? Why did I get the raw end of the deal with 'talents' that I hate?
I'm not going to just give in and do what I should just because I'm good at it.
What I'm good at makes me miserable.
((How's THAT for conflict?))
This is a really depressing subject to talk/type about.
It makes me feel like I'm in therapy with myself. And just horribly, horribly normal.
Just stop me now.
I've rewritten this entry four times and not once has it comes out to mean what I want.
Brevity is a gift that I must have passed up.
And I'm the kind of person who has to use someone else's words to tell you what I feel, because I'm too weak to come up with my own.
Simplicity is by far the most complex thing I've run into in my whole life.