THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
Funny how all of a sudden your mood can change and then you find the perfect CD to match it. And even though you don't generally like the CD, right then it is absolutely perfect.
I just put on my HIM album.
I forget how much I like it.
I think it's just because it's actually emotional. I generally hate thinking about emotions. It just makes me feel hollow. I would rather just listen to bratty angst.
Which sounds sort of shallow. But emotions, at the moment, are too messy for me to actually deal with.
Thinking about them only reminds me of how rather inadequite I am. How I am missing so much.
But, deep sigh. I don't care. I can't care, really.
Today was lame.
I don't like going to the movies with a bunch of seven year olds and my mother, only to be gawked at by a group of people in AFI shirts.
It wasn't bad gawking though.
It was just surprise.
But, nevertheless, I would have rathered that they didn't. Actually, I would have preferred not actually being there.
I don't like seven year olds. And things have been very tense between my mother and I. And the movie sucked.
But, you know, other than that, it was just great. Just fabulous.
I would so rather be at school.
...I would rather be out of the country really.
Nevermind. Long story.
My parents still keep talking about our trip to England/Ireland like it's a GOOD thing.
It's not a good thing. It's a dull thing. I don't like going there. I don't like visiting relatives I have no relation to.
...
I sound awefully dull right now.
Perhaps I am.
Perhaps it's been because I've been completely dead to the world for the past few days. Complete empty, apathy.
I feel no reason to be interesting because I feel nothing.
Except exhaustion.