THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
Could someone please tell me WHY my parents have, within the past few moths, decided that I am an absolute failure destined for nothing but pain and low income jobs?
I don't know what provoked it.
Just all of a sudden I'm a fucking moron who never does anything right and never will.
They (my stupid parents) decided to take us out to dinner just now. I feel really sick from it. I hope I'll get really, really ill. Then I won't have to go to rehersal.
Anyway.
On the way there, my dad starts to say how much worse my sister would be when she was my age.
I kindly pointed out that however she acted, it really wouldn't be a problem, because I would be long gone and wouldn't have to ever deal with her.
And here's a direct quote:
"Yes, and where will you be, Elizabeth? Does a job at McDonald's look particularly attractive?"
WHAT THE FUCK?????
When did I become such a goddamn juvenille delinquent??
And then he asked me if I was on drugs.
And I think he might have meant it.
Okay, let's just look at something for a second, okay?
I DON'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING. I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG. EVER.
Just because I am not some perfect genius child, does not mean I'm gonna be some stoned idiot my whole life who ends up in jail.
And now, I've also become ambitionless.
Well, fuck you.
I know exactly what I want to do and don't give a shit what you think mom and dad.
Oh yeah, I've come up with a new theory as to why I am being sent off to an all-girl's catholic highschool.
They think my friends are all cutters and drug addicts.
My mom already doesn't want to ever let me see anyone because of some of the people I have been known to associate myself with.
And they still think that I am that stupid that I would start doing shit like that.
I may not have straight A-s or be a very good daughter, but I have enough sense not to start that.
And if I ever did, it would be because I never got any support from the people who are supposed to be there for me.
Right. They think that I am an idiot with no common sense or ambitions.
And I still don't know why.
Things didn't use to be like this. But now I am a "disappointment" anmd my sister is the only hope of preserving our disgusting family.
Right. The girl is crazy. And you rest the future on her.
She burst out sobbing when she thought she might have hurt someone's feelings or something.
For god's sake. It was completely pathetic.
I fucking cannot put up with this. I hate being treated this way.
First I was a failure because I wasn't exactly like them, and now I'm a failure because I am the way I am and there's no way to save me.
Fuck you.
Fuck both of you.
I'm gonna go places.
And not to go live in a small town with two children who can't exist in the same room together, and a job that makes me completely miserable.
No. Because I'm the failure.