FUCK YR HEART

THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE

04-17-04 . 3:42 pm

What is your name?: Elizabeth, Lizz, Lizzi, Eddie, Freddie, Pinki, DiDi, Peggy, Lacey
Are you named after anyone?: My very short British aunt
What's your screename?: None existant
Would you name a child of yours after you?: Absolutely not. My name sucks.
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: Cotton. (Don't ask)
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: Ruth
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: Nope.
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: No. I would change it entirely.
Basics
Your gender:: Female
Straight/Gay/Bi:: Straight
Single?: yes
If not, do you want to be?: N/A
Birthdate:: February 12
Your age:: 14
Age you act:: Ha! I still think it's funny when people say balls
Age you wish you were:: I'm okay
Your height:: Six feet
Eye color:: Yellow green
Happy with it?: Whatever
Hair color:: Light brown and purple.
Happy with it?: NO
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: Righty
Your living arrangement:: Both parents
Your family:: Is insane
Have any pets?: 3 cats, 1 dog, 1 fish, 1 hamster, 1 rat, 1 rabbit, 1 horse
Whats your job?: None...Student
Piercings?: None.
Tattoos?: Ball point pen only
Obsessions?: Music
Addictions?: Bass
Do you speak another language?: A little French
Have a favorite quote?: "I'm honest but I'm dumb too"
Do you have a webpage?: Yeah. This diary.
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?: Sometimes. But I'm not usually paying attention.
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: No. People suck.
Do you have any secrets?: Not really. Or none that I know of.
Do you hate yourself?: Duh. I piss myself off more than anyone else.
Do you like your handwriting?: Yeah.
Do you have any bad habits?: More than I could name.
What is the compliment you get from most people?: I don't. Or that I'm funny.
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Green Plaid is Killing Me (don't ask)
What's your biggest fear?: I'm trying to figure that out.
Can you sing?: You can call me Ethel.
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Absolutely not.
Are you a loner?: Define loner.
What are your #1 priorities in life?: Music. Happiness. Being a good person. Keeping in control.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: No. I would completely hate myself.
Are you a daredevil?: No. I just don't give a shit.
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: Yeah, I hate that I'm such a goddamn failure
Are you passive or agressive?: One could say that.
Do you have a journal?: Nah, you think?
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: I don't know.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: Everything. Or nothing. I may be fucked up but I like it that way. It lets you know more.
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Yes. Unless I'm listening to HIM or Finch.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: I try to avoid regret at all times and just go with apathy. Its safer.
Do you think life has been good so far?: Yeah. It has. I din't really have a lot to complain about. But I still do.
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Nothing ever works out the way it should. Nothing sucks as bad as you think it does. People really ARE stupid.
What do you like the most about your body?: Not a lot.
And least?: Well, that would be everything.
Do you think you are good looking?: If you're into the not very attractive type. I don't know. I guess. I just have yet to meet someone who thinks so.
Are you confident?: Yes. Though I don't know why.
What is the fictional character you are most like?: I haven't met one.
Are you perceived wrongly?: All the fucking time.
Do You...
Smoke?: No.
Do drugs?: No.
Read the newspaper?: Only on thursdays.
Pray?: Oly when things go radically astray. But its never done anything for me.
Go to church?: No.
Talk to strangers who IM you?: No.
Sleep with stuffed animals?: Yes. Its a Scare Bear from the Nightmare Before Christmas. the one that attacks all the little kids.
Take walks in the rain?: Yes..
Talk to people even though you hate them?: I don't really have a choice do I?
Drive?: That would be illegal.
Like to drive fast?: If I had the choice.
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?: Not really.
Hurt yourself?: Yes.
Been out of the country?: Yeah. A lot. Just o go sit in the parlors of old people who talk funny in The Lake District who I am supposedly related to. Oh joy.
Eaten something that made other people sick?: Yes.
Been in love?: I can't quite tell.
Done drugs?: No.
Gone skinny dipping?: I don't swim.
Had a medical emergency?: nothing life threatening.
Had surgery?: Yes.
Ran away from home?: Only in my mind. Mentally I am never home.
Played strip poker?: Strip Uno. That was fun.
Gotten beaten up?: No. Unless you count our King Lear Rehersals. Those are generally quite violent.
Beaten someone up?: I broke Julianne's arm last year.
Been picked on?: Like every fucking day.
Been on stage?: Yes. I have been in drama since second grade. That usually requires a stage.
Slept outdoors?: Yes. Backyard campouts. fun.
Thought about suicide?: Yes...
Pulled an all nighter?: I don't sleep.
If yes, what is your record?: Not sleeping for over 36 hours.
Gone one day without food?: No. I'm hungry all the time. And have stomach ulcers so I would be ins erious pain if I did that.
Talked on the phone all night?: I hate talking on the phone. I have a phone-phobia. I just do.
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: No.
Slept all day?: yes.
Killed someone?: No.
Made out with a stranger?: No. Not even with someone I knew.
Had sex with a stranger?: No.
Thought you're going crazy?: Every hour of every day. And people tell me that a lot too.
Kissed the same sex?: No.
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: No.
Been betrayed?: I suppose so.
Had a dream that came true?: My life is a series of dejavu like events. One can never quite tell what's happened and what hasn't.
Broken the law?: Heh heh heh
Met a famous person?: Okay, I live like twenty minutes from Hollywood. And I still haven't. But I don't really care.
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: No.
On purpose?: No.
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: Yes.
Stolen anything?: No. Well, only things from my sister. Which hardly counts.
Been on radio/tv?: Yes.
Been in a mosh-pit?: Sigh. No.
Had a nervous breakdown?: Yes.
Bungee jumped?: No
Had a dream that kept coming back?: Yes. I have reoccuring dreams where people I love murder me.
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?: I can't deal with life on this planet.
Miracles?: When I see one.
Astrology?: No
Magic?: I just read about it.
God?: Prove it.
Satan?: Prove it.
Santa?: No.
Ghosts?: Yes.
Luck?: Yes.
Love at first sight?: Sure. When it happens, I'll tell you.
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: No.
Witches?: Only wiccans.
Easter bunny?: No.
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: How do you mean?
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: No. There isn't even a rainbow.
Do you wish on stars?: No. Wishes don't come true.
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: Yes. Though I try to prove myself wrong.
Do you think God has a gender?: No.
Do you believe in organized religion?: No.
Where do you think we go when we die?: Well, that would depend.
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Yes.
Who is your best friend?: Alix, Milena
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Alix
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: I don't know.
Your favourite inside joke?: There are WAAAAAAAAY too many to count.
Thing you're picked on most about?: Being different.
Who's your longest known friend?: Alix. (again)
Newest?: People at Dodson.
Shyest?: My friends are never shy. If they were then they wouldn't pick me as a friend
Funniest?: Amanda T., Chelsea, Alix, Milena, hell- they're all pretty funny.
Sweetest?: A lot. I don't come up with sweet very often.
Closest?: Alix and Milena
Weirdest?: ALL OF THEM
Smartest?: Bernadette is a fucking genius. Even if her boyfriend is a tree.
Ditziest?: Ha. Milena. Galen and Susan. And me. I'm kind of a ditz occasionally.
Friends you miss being close to the most?: ?
Last person you talked to online?: Susan
Who do you talk to most online?: Ruth, Susan
Who are you on the phone with most?: Amanda E.
Who do you trust most?: Alix and Milena. they would never turn.
Who listens to your problems?: I don't confes my problems a lot. I just listen tpo everyone else's.
Who do you fight most with?: No one. Really.
Who's the nicest?: They're all nice
Who's the most outgoing?: Galen, Milena
Who's the best singer?: Rhiannon. In fact, she's the only one who CAN sing,
Who's on your shit-list?: Oh god. Don'r get me started.
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: Noooo. They would be creepy. And lesbian.
Who's your second family?: My friends.
Do you always feel understood?: No. Well, almost never.
Who's the loudest friend?: GALEN AND SUSAN
Do you trust others easily?: Yeah, I guess.
Who's house were you last at?: .....Rhiannon. I think.
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in:: No one.
Do your friends know you?: Yes. They know me WAY too well. The other day one of them knew my response to something before I did.
Friend that lives farthest away:: Liesa. Thousand Oaks. Woo-hoo. Long distance.
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: No. Never
What do you find romantic?: That's a hard one
Turn-on?: Punk, goth. To be frank.
Turn-off?: Most people.
First kiss?: None.
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: Pissed off.
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: That would be kinda weird. And awkward.
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: No.
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv: Sure.
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: Not really.
What is best about the opposite sex?: ?
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: God, what's with the best worst things? They aren't a mass. They're just people.
What's the last present someone gave you?: I don't remember.
Are you in love?: No.
Do you consider your significant other hot?: What significant other?
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?: Ahaunted seems like overkill.
You wanted to kill?: Ha. Julianne.
That you laughed at?: I don't remember. Probably either Jordan or Baker. He is suck a dork. In a good way. .
That laughed at you?: Galen.
That turned you on?: No one. Meet the people I know. I have said tis before and I will say it a gain: most of them are walking talking loaves of bread.
You went shopping with?: I hate shopping. But I guess that would be Chelsea, RHiannon, Galen, Alysha, and Amanda in DC. Sad huh?
That broke your heart?: My hear breaks peice by peice and never because of one single person.
To disappoint you?: Me.
To ask you out?: Ha.
To make you cry?: Me.
To brighten up your day?: The six aforementioned people.
That you thought about?: No one.
You saw a movie with?: Alix.
You talked to on the phone?: Amanda and Rhiannon
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: No one.
You saw?: Anyone on the bus.
You lost?: Oh damn, I know I put her somewhere...
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: No
Will it be with your significant other?: I said no
Or some random person?: Aren't you listening?
What are you wearing right now?: Emily strange shirt, black dickies, knee socks, my anrchics.
Body part you're touching right now:: SICKO!
What are you worried about right now?: Oh everything.And nothing. I'm listening to emotion wiping music.
What book are you reading?: 1984 (I HATE THIS FUCKING NOVEL)
What's on your mousepad?: Nightmare BEfore Christmas.
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:: Bored, Apathetic, Bored, Tired, Bored
Are you bored?: No shit.
Are you tired?: Okay, what did I just say?
Are you talking to anyone online?: No. I'm taking a survey obviously.
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: No. **Phone phobia*
Are you lonely or content?: Lonely and content. Content with my lonliness.
Are you listening to music?: I am ALWAYS listening to music. I go nowhere without my CD player. I just don't.

Really Long Survey (over 200) brought to you by BZOINK!

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What is your name?:	Elizabeth, Lizz, Lizzi, Eddie, Freddie, Pinki, DiDi, Peggy, Lacey
Are you named after anyone?:	My very short British aunt
What's your screename?:	None existant
Would you name a child of yours after you?:	Absolutely not. My name sucks.
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:	Cotton. (Don't ask)
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?:	Ruth
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?:	Nope.
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?:	No. I would change it entirely.
Basics
Your gender::	Female
Straight/Gay/Bi::	Straight
Single?:	yes
If not, do you want to be?:	N/A
Birthdate::	February 12
Your age::	14
Age you act::	Ha! I still think it's funny when people say balls
Age you wish you were::	I'm okay
Your height::	Six feet
Eye color::	Yellow green
Happy with it?:	Whatever
Hair color::	Light brown and purple.
Happy with it?:	NO
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous::	Righty
Your living arrangement::	Both parents
Your family::	Is insane
Have any pets?:	3 cats, 1 dog, 1 fish, 1 hamster, 1 rat, 1 rabbit, 1 horse
Whats your job?:	None...Student
Piercings?:	None.
Tattoos?:	Ball point pen only
Obsessions?:	Music
Addictions?:	Bass
Do you speak another language?:	A little French
Have a favorite quote?:	"I'm honest but I'm dumb too"
Do you have a webpage?:	Yeah. This diary.
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?:	Sometimes. But I'm not usually paying attention.
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:	No. People suck.
Do you have any secrets?:	Not really. Or none that I know of.
Do you hate yourself?:	Duh. I piss myself off more than anyone else.
Do you like your handwriting?:	Yeah.
Do you have any bad habits?:	More than I could name.
What is the compliment you get from most people?:	I don't. Or that I'm funny.
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?:	Green Plaid is Killing Me (don't ask)
What's your biggest fear?:	I'm trying to figure that out.
Can you sing?:	You can call me Ethel.
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:	Absolutely not.
Are you a loner?:	Define loner.
What are your #1 priorities in life?:	Music. Happiness. Being a good person. Keeping in control.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:	No. I would completely hate myself.
Are you a daredevil?:	No. I just don't give a shit.
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?:	Yeah, I hate that I'm such a goddamn failure
Are you passive or agressive?:	One could say that.
Do you have a journal?:	Nah, you think?
What is your greatest strength and weakness?:	I don't know.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?:	Everything. Or nothing. I may be fucked up but I like it that way. It lets you know more.
Do you think you are emotionally strong?:	Yes. Unless I'm listening to HIM or Finch.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?:	I try to avoid regret at all times and just go with apathy. Its safer.
Do you think life has been good so far?:	Yeah. It has. I din't really have a lot to complain about. But I still do.
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?:	Nothing ever works out the way it should. Nothing sucks as bad as you think it does. People really ARE stupid.
What do you like the most about your body?:	Not a lot.
And least?:	Well, that would be everything.
Do you think you are good looking?:	If you're into the not very attractive type. I don't know. I guess. I just have yet to meet someone who thinks so.
Are you confident?:	Yes. Though I don't know why.
What is the fictional character you are most like?:	I haven't met one.
Are you perceived wrongly?:	All the fucking time.
Do You...
Smoke?:	No.
Do drugs?:	No.
Read the newspaper?:	Only on thursdays.
Pray?:	Oly when things go radically astray. But its never done anything for me.
Go to church?:	No.
Talk to strangers who IM you?:	No.
Sleep with stuffed animals?:	Yes. Its a Scare Bear from the Nightmare Before Christmas. the one that attacks all the little kids.
Take walks in the rain?:	Yes..
Talk to people even though you hate them?:	I don't really have a choice do I?
Drive?:	That would be illegal.
Like to drive fast?:	If I had the choice.
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?:	Not really.
Hurt yourself?:	Yes.
Been out of the country?:	Yeah. A lot. Just o go sit in the parlors of old people who talk funny in The Lake District who I am supposedly related to. Oh joy.
Eaten something that made other people sick?:	Yes.
Been in love?:	I can't quite tell.
Done drugs?:	No.
Gone skinny dipping?:	I don't swim.
Had a medical emergency?:	nothing life threatening.
Had surgery?:	Yes.
Ran away from home?:	Only in my mind. Mentally I am never home.
Played strip poker?:	Strip Uno. That was fun.
Gotten beaten up?:	No. Unless you count our King Lear Rehersals. Those are generally quite violent.
Beaten someone up?:	I broke Julianne's arm last year.
Been picked on?:	Like every fucking day.
Been on stage?:	Yes. I have been in drama since second grade. That usually requires a stage.
Slept outdoors?:	Yes. Backyard campouts. fun.
Thought about suicide?:	Yes...
Pulled an all nighter?:	I don't sleep.
If yes, what is your record?:	Not sleeping for over 36 hours.
Gone one day without food?:	No. I'm hungry all the time. And have stomach ulcers so I would be ins erious pain if I did that.
Talked on the phone all night?:	I hate talking on the phone. I have a phone-phobia. I just do.
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?:	No.
Slept all day?:	yes.
Killed someone?:	No.
Made out with a stranger?:	No. Not even with someone I knew.
Had sex with a stranger?:	No.
Thought you're going crazy?:	Every hour of every day. And people tell me that a lot too.
Kissed the same sex?:	No.
Done anything sexual with the same sex?:	No.
Been betrayed?:	I suppose so.
Had a dream that came true?:	My life is a series of dejavu like events. One can never quite tell what's happened and what hasn't.
Broken the law?:	Heh heh heh
Met a famous person?:	Okay, I live like twenty minutes from Hollywood. And I still haven't. But I don't really care.
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?:	No.
On purpose?:	No.
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?:	Yes.
Stolen anything?:	No. Well, only things from my sister. Which hardly counts.
Been on radio/tv?:	Yes.
Been in a mosh-pit?:	Sigh. No.
Had a nervous breakdown?:	Yes.
Bungee jumped?:	No
Had a dream that kept coming back?:	Yes. I have reoccuring dreams where people I love murder me.
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?:	I can't deal with life on this planet.
Miracles?:	When I see one.
Astrology?:	No
Magic?:	I just read about it.
God?:	Prove it.
Satan?:	Prove it.
Santa?:	No.
Ghosts?:	Yes.
Luck?:	Yes.
Love at first sight?:	Sure. When it happens, I'll tell you.
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?:	No.
Witches?:	Only wiccans.
Easter bunny?:	No.
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?:	How do you mean?
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?:	No. There isn't even a rainbow.
Do you wish on stars?:	No. Wishes don't come true.
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?:	Yes. Though I try to prove myself wrong.
Do you think God has a gender?:	No.
Do you believe in organized religion?:	No.
Where do you think we go when we die?:	Well, that would depend.
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?:	Yes.
Who is your best friend?:	Alix, Milena
Who's the one person that knows most about you?:	Alix
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?:	I don't know.
Your favourite inside joke?:	There are WAAAAAAAAY too many to count.
Thing you're picked on most about?:	Being different.
Who's your longest known friend?:	Alix. (again)
Newest?:	People at Dodson.
Shyest?:	My friends are never shy. If they were then they wouldn't pick me as a friend
Funniest?:	Amanda T., Chelsea, Alix, Milena, hell- they're all pretty funny.
Sweetest?:	A lot. I don't come up with sweet very often.
Closest?:	Alix and Milena
Weirdest?:	ALL OF THEM
Smartest?:	Bernadette is a fucking genius. Even if her boyfriend is a tree.
Ditziest?:	Ha. Milena. Galen and Susan. And me. I'm kind of a ditz occasionally.
Friends you miss being close to the most?:	?
Last person you talked to online?:	Susan
Who do you talk to most online?:	Ruth, Susan
Who are you on the phone with most?:	Amanda E.
Who do you trust most?:	Alix and Milena. they would never turn.
Who listens to your problems?:	I don't confes my problems a lot. I just listen tpo everyone else's.
Who do you fight most with?:	No one. Really.
Who's the nicest?:	They're all nice
Who's the most outgoing?:	Galen, Milena
Who's the best singer?:	Rhiannon. In fact, she's the only one who CAN sing,
Who's on your shit-list?:	Oh god. Don'r get me started.
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?:	Noooo. They would be creepy. And lesbian.
Who's your second family?:	My friends.
Do you always feel understood?:	No. Well, almost never.
Who's the loudest friend?:	GALEN AND SUSAN
Do you trust others easily?:	Yeah, I guess.
Who's house were you last at?:	.....Rhiannon. I think.
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in::	No one.
Do your friends know you?:	Yes. They know me WAY too well. The other day one of them knew my response to something before I did.
Friend that lives farthest away::	Liesa. Thousand Oaks. Woo-hoo. Long distance.
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?:	No. Never
What do you find romantic?:	That's a hard one
Turn-on?:	Punk, goth. To be frank.
Turn-off?:	Most people.
First kiss?:	None.
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?:	Pissed off.
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going:	That would be kinda weird. And awkward.
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out:	No.
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv:	Sure.
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?:	Not really.
What is best about the opposite sex?:	?
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?:	God, what's with the best worst things? They aren't a mass. They're just people.
What's the last present someone gave you?:	I don't remember.
Are you in love?:	No.
Do you consider your significant other hot?:	What significant other?
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?:	Ahaunted seems like overkill.
You wanted to kill?:	Ha. Julianne.
That you laughed at?:	I don't remember. Probably either Jordan or Baker. He is suck a dork. In a good way. .
That laughed at you?:	Galen.
That turned you on?:	No one. Meet the people I know. I have said tis before and I will say it a gain: most of them are walking talking loaves of bread.
You went shopping with?:	I hate shopping. But I guess that would be Chelsea, RHiannon, Galen, Alysha, and Amanda in DC. Sad huh?
That broke your heart?:	My hear breaks peice by peice and never because of one single person.
To disappoint you?:	Me.
To ask you out?:	Ha.
To make you cry?:	Me.
To brighten up your day?:	The six aforementioned people.
That you thought about?:	No one.
You saw a movie with?:	Alix.
You talked to on the phone?:	Amanda and Rhiannon
You talked to through IM/ICQ?:	No one.
You saw?:	Anyone on the bus.
You lost?:	Oh damn, I know I put her somewhere...
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?:	No
Will it be with your significant other?:	I said no
Or some random person?:	Aren't you listening?
What are you wearing right now?:	Emily strange shirt, black dickies, knee socks, my anrchics.
Body part you're touching right now::	SICKO!
What are you worried about right now?:	Oh everything.And nothing. I'm listening to emotion wiping music.
What book are you reading?:	1984 (I HATE THIS FUCKING NOVEL)
What's on your mousepad?:	Nightmare BEfore Christmas.
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling::	Bored, Apathetic, Bored, Tired, Bored
Are you bored?:	No shit.
Are you tired?:	Okay, what did I just say?
Are you talking to anyone online?:	No. I'm taking a survey obviously.
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?:	No. *Phone phobia
Are you lonely or content?:	Lonely and content. Content with my lonliness.
Are you listening to music?:	I am ALWAYS listening to music. I go nowhere without my CD player. I just don't.