THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
Everything You Will Ever Need to Know About Me
Because I'm just terribly, terribly bored.
1. I really do just hate evrything.
2. I have ridden an elephant before.
3. I have a collection of Japanese beckoning cats.
4. I like to wear bowling shirts and saddle shoes.
5. There's one of those cat clocks where the tail and eyes move on my bedroom wall.
6. I avoid all of my inner emotions and deep thoughts of any kind.
7. I've gotten first place in rodeos before.
8. Last year I danced in the rain on my birthday. While wearing my P.E. uniform.
9. I'm not half as interesting as people seem to think.
10. I went to a party dressed up as someone who made people into pies.
11. I almost always get cast as the crazy person/psychopath/drunk in drama productions.
12. I like psychobilly. A lot.
13. I broke one of the arms to my glasses last year and never got it fixed.
14. I have only two cousins as almost all of my close relatives are homosexual.
15. I have a tan from my thumb ring.
16. Every drawing I do ends up looking like a tattoo.
17. I almost always get the feeling that I'm only talking to myself when I talk to other people.
18. I get my hair professionally straightened every six months.
19. I know all of the parts of the ruminant stomach. Rumen, reticulum, omasum, abomasum.
20. I've done gymnastics on horseback before.
21. My favorite instrument is the double bass.
22. I can play the autoharp.
My sister has called me DiDi since she was a year old and no one knows why.
23. I have plaid shoes.
24. I am going to hell. Ask anyone.
25. I like to wear big plastic jewelry which has now become unexplainably popular.
26. I haven't eaten fish since I was seven years old.
27. My parents were going to name me Liberty.
28. I don't like people to see my feet.
29. I split my chin open when I was five by not jumping back far enough into a swimming pool.
30. I've been to Tokyo.
31. My middle name is Claire.
32. I had to go to church five mornings a week for six years.
33. I'm allergic to spinich.
34. I've known my best friends for nine years.
35. I have voodoo candles on my dresser.
36. I dressed up as "Girl Before a Mirror" by Picasso for Halloween.
37. I failed P.E.
38. I was once called a punk, a prep, a goth, and emo within the space of one hour. All by different people.
39. I don't like myself very much.
40. I am afraid of squids.
41. I have dreams where I drown in other people's blood and ride in cars with Davey Havok.
42. I think my best friend should get a mowhawk.
43. Defenistration is my favorite word.
44. I broke someone's arm.
45. I played soccer for five years and scored a total of one goal.
46. My favorite boardgame is The Barbie Prom game, and I don't know why.
47. I have to go to physical therapy for my knees.
48. I am almsot six feet tall.
49. I have glasses and braces.
50. I had a horse who died in February 2002. His name was Ranger.
51. I don't like horse back riding anymore, and I think that's why.
52. I dissapoint people a lot.
53. Art galleries make me naseous.
54. I have been in the following playts and musicals: The King and I, Alice in Wonderland, The Turkeys are on Strike, The Emporer's New Clothes, The Homecoming, Up the Down Staircase, Our Town, Hamlet, Anything Goes, Miss Julie, Laughing Wild, King Lear, and Damn Yankees.
55. Neitehr of my parents like their jobs.
56. My purse says "Boiled Egg" on it.
57. I hate my hair.
58. I want to get tattoos.
59. I can't put what I feel into words very easily.
60. My favorite ice cream flavor is Peppermint, which they only sell at Christmas.
61. I will probably never see some of my best friends ever again.
62. I can only happily exist at a constant 70 degrees temperature.
63. I will probably live in California my whole life.
64. Things are only ugly if you are too impatient to really look at them.
65. I have absolutely no domestic skills.
66. But I do know how to train goats to walk on leashes.
67. I like riding the school bus.
68. I am trying to get expelled.
69. I hate swimming.
70. People tend to like me, and I don't know why.
71. I am too cynical.
72. My favorite numer is 7.
73. I am not photogenic.
74. I can't watch food cook without feeling sick.
75. I can't really think about food without feeling sick.
76. I want to be a vegetarian in a house of carnivores.
77. I use numerology in making everyday decisions.
78. I love my friends like my family.
79. My cat, Albert, likes to stand on my lap and mash my stomach fat with his paws.
80. I don't know what I want to do with my life.
81. I'm lucky to have what I've got. And I know it.
82. My favorite color is black.
83. Irony is one of my favorite things in the whole world.
84. Music is the only thing that has made me feel like I had a real home.
85. I don't watch very much TV.
86. I get migrains daily.
87. I qualified the Gifted and talented test by just one point.
88. I like the 50's.
89. People think I'm really smart. I'm really not.
90. My mom wants to move to New Zeland.
91. I can't spell. And have been in two spelling bees.
92. I like New York City.
93. I am part of AntiSocial Sunshine. Our motto is Friends Don't Let Friends Burn in Hell. They are my sisters.
94. My favorite author is Patricia McKillip.
95. My bedsheets have pictures of happy fruit on them.
96. I can't talk to my parents.
97. I confuse people a lot. It's frustrating. For both of us.
98. Some people learn to read me like a book after knowing me a week, while others can know me for years and still have know idea what I'm talking about.
99. I have known how to tap dance.
100. I'm not generally a very happy person.
101. And I'm so fucking cliche, that it drives me crazy.
So. That's it. I don't know why I just did that. It just seemed like a good idea.