THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
I'm listening to Coral Fang.
Which is my favorite Distillers album. Because it's gritty and nasty and powerful, while still being really poetic...Ful....And it's not just formulated society bashing punk rock. The earth needs more of that.
Or maybe that's just me.
I dunno. I got all of that out of my system pretty quick.
Talking of my system, I'm bound to just break down sometime this week.
I feel like total shit.
And not like last week when I was actually ill.
Right now it feels 25% emotional, 25% Exhaustion, and 50% physicial revulsion.
I'm constantly sick to my stomach. Which feels more like a black hole lately.
And that combined with one of my obscure bouts of extreme morbidity, never comes out in my favor.
Yes. Bouts of morbidity. It's not as bad as last time. When I had nightly dreams of drowning in blood.
Which, by the way, was just gross above all.
But the blood/death fascination makes it okay to be sick. I think actually being entirely physically ill at the moment would really help me out mentally at the moment.
Gee, a whole entry about me wanting to throw up all the time.
Yeah, so that's it really.
I wrote a whole other entry about how it was "Get Dressed Up"- Like an IDIOT/HOMELESS WOMAN- "By Your Senior Sister".
Fuck that, man.
I'm a liar and I'm okay with it.
Enquire further if you're interested. I'm too tired to write it over, and it just turned into another goddamn rant. I've had enough of that for now.
Oh, and, hey- anyone out there want to be just a really fabulous friend and go buy me a copy of The Art of Drowning?
I really need that right now- and I'm broke.
I'd really appreciate it. Think of it as an extremely belated birthday gift (since you ALL missed it...)
Ha ha ha.
Anyway, here's my helpful hint of the day:
If you write the lyrics "Go ascend with ivy climbing, leave for me the headstone crumbling behind. I can't help my laughter as she cries, my sould brings tears to angelic eyes. And far away my mother cries, omnipotence nurturing malevolence" it tends to seriously freak out the good little catholics who already think you are a satanist.
Well...It's true.