THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
I beleive I once said that a music video would never make me cry.
Well, ha fucking ha.
Here I stand corrected.
I think watching a Pop Music Convention would have been less painful.
It felt...It was honestly like some sick kind of aweful joke.
And it was...Just....Just....Horrible....
Yeah, I'll give you three guesses as to what band I'm talking about and the first two don't count.
That's right, the only band I have bitched about ALL SUMMER.
Check the entries.
I have wasted so much angst on this band, it's just pathetic. So much anger that could have been redirected and channeled into something more useful.
But...It's something that really honestly does mean a lot to me. And, god, does that ever make me sound like mall punk white trash.
But, as much as I hate to say it, lowest points of gone through, they've helped me more than I could ever tell you. And they were one of the first punk bands- and punk albums- that I ever got into.
A band that I've liked for a long time.
And now they've turned into some kind of disgusting corporate emo boy band that pop punkers listen to because they think it makes them sound more deep and dark, and it just makes me sick to my stomach.
Honestly, if I hadn't cried before, I would now.
Well, FUCK FUCKING YOU.
...fuck....
fuckfuckfuck.
And, see? Even that didn't do anything.
It makes me so incredibly sad. I can't even tell you.
And just to think I came here to talk about how the sex ed teacher grabbed her boobs as she taught us out pep rally cheer for Spirit Fucking Week and how SisterNunLady made us do religious dances and talk about what we were going to pray about.
I was going to talk about how every time I go to one of their religious things it ends up feeling like I'm so far outside of their little realm, no one even hears me breathing- but still insist on inviting me in. And how it feels really empty to see all these people who have something to focus their lives on and how much joy it seems to bring them.
But that just sounds like a Hallmark card.
And now I'm too fucking angry/incredibly depressed by something that really shouldn't make me feel that way at all because it's none of my business if one of my all time favorite bands decides to sell out and be adored by countless senseless idiots all over the goddamn world.
I shouldn't care.
But you know what?
I do.
It's like losing a good friend because all of a sudden you weren't good enough for them and the grass where you are is looking pretty pale anyway.
It's a love/hate relationship and I can never tell which side's winning.
((Guessed yet? Guessed which band? Guessed the band that I love so much yet hate to actually admit to loving, because of what they've now become?...No? Well. I refuse to even talk about them. And, yes, I do like acting like a six year old, thankyouverymuch))