THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
Can someone please define free dress for me?
In my slightly warped dictionary, free dress typically means that one is free to wear what one pleases.
But, as experience proves, I apperantly know nothing.
Here, my friends, are the "guidlines" for what can and cannot wear on the few and precious days at my school that you can wear your own clothes.
Dress Regulations
1. Beach clothing--any clothing that reveals the back, midfriff, or bare shoulders will not be allowed. Longer shirts must be tucked into skirt or pants.
(( Skin! I see skin! Skin from SATAN! ONLY SATANISTS SHOW THE WORLD THEIR UPPER ARMS!!!! Repent! Repent!!!))
2. Shoes must be worn at all times. No thong or backless sandals are ever permitted on campus. This includes athletes who change early for athletic competitions.
3. No shorts, crop tops, halter tops, tank tops or spaghetti straps may be worn on these days. Appropriate logo shirts may be worn on these days. When shorts are allowed on campus, they must be appropriate walking shorts and must reach mid-thigh.
((i.e. Boy Scout Shorts. How about you make us only wear khakis with pleats on our off days too???))
4. Capri pants (below the knees) may be worn. Skintight pants, leather pants, or mini skirts may not be worn.
((Damn, you mean I can't wear my Davey Havok leather, I mean pleather pants?....))
5. Appropriate jeans, sweats and walking shorts are acceptable when announced and for Senior and Junior Retreat days. Jeans with holes, faded, or in poor condition may not be worn to school..
((For you non-Catholic-school kids, Retreat days are when they put you in a big hot room and talk about Jesus. Personally, I don't think Jesus gives a fuck what my jeans look like. It's not like I would pay attention anyway.))
6. Skirts must be no more that 3" from the top of the knees.
Do any of you see any freedom there?
Cause I don't.
I see ugly, fat, old faux-religious and ultimately unhappy old ladies trying to make a whole new army of...themselves.
It's so...ridiculous that I'm not really even sure how far they will let me push it.
You know, how isane can I go.
Because my ultimate goal on all free dress days is to absolute disgust and frighten my teachers and peers.
But, you know, maybe I'll just go put some satanic phrases on my pleated walking shorts, and put a (gasp!) band patch on my green cardigan sweater.
Hey, maybe I'll even go for really controversial and wear eyeliner. But not too much, because, as we all know, only satanists wear eyeliner.
God.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I hate everything.
Especially my school.
Especially those two adults who decided to send me there.
Especially all the people who told them in was a good idea.
Especially all my teachers there.
Especially the idiots they call students (a.k.a. Rich-White-Blonde-Clones).
And especially the whole "Let's make everybody look and act exactly the same!" thing.
Especially that.
But, you know, only people who worship satan could possibly have that much hate.
CURSE OF THE DAY:
May a cat eat you and may the devil eat the cat.
Yeah. I have a whole book of curses.
They're funny.
Did I mention that I don't belong at a Catholic school?