THOSE WHO SUFFER LOVE
Argh.
I feel ill.
And let me tell you: Easter is destined to be abnormal for me. It's karma. Why in hell's name do things always have to be so perpetually strange when they are dealing with my fucking family??? Why tribe of natives did I singlehandedly wipe out in my past lives that causes me to have such stupidly weird luck??
Okay. On the way to Grandmother's house: forced to listen to repulsive Lisa Loeb for what felt like nine thousand hours. Sister became incredibly ill, threw up, and had explosive diarrhea. IN THE CAR.
And my mom wouldn't let us put the windows down.
For once, however, I was not sitting next to her.
Thank god.
But, hey, if my head was by a speaker playing such utterly crap music while speeding along a freeway, I'd be sick to.
So. Anyway.
When we actually got to the damn place, we walk into the backyard to find my grandfather yelling because he set a starter cable to close to the tire of the barbecue and melted it.
HE MELTED THE TIRE OFF THE BARBEQUE
The ground was covered in a pool of melted rubber.
From the barbeque.
((I hate to keep repeating myself, but come on...It was so....Well, unusual))
And, not only had the cable melted the tire off, it had also set the wooden bench on fire. So my grandma was running over and hosing the whole thing down.
And my sister was puking in the background.
It's a pretty picture isn't it?
Grandparents yelling and hosing. Sister vomiting. Mother panicking.
And so I just sort of stood there. And once the fire was out, I went inside, laid on the couch, put on my headphones, and read 1984.
Happy, happy times.
We can all just thank whatever higher power may be up there though that my aunt, uncle, and idiot cousins weren't there though. That would truly have been hell. Mostly because of my aunt. We all hate her. She just fails to realize it.
For the past, what is it? Five years she has asked me every single time we come into contact with each other "what I wanted to be when I grow up".
This is just her "training" because she is getting her degree to be a highschool counsler. As she is the bossiest person in the world this is an obvious career choice. Go boss around kids who just need help. That'll be good.
Anyway. I finally got so sick of saying "I dunno." every time she asked me that last summer I just said "When I grow up, I want to be a circus midget."
Keeping in mind that I am six feet tall.
She just sort f blinked and started talking to my dad.
It was amusing.
One can see why we did not want her there.
I would have enjoyed the compamy of my cousins. They are so easily frightened.
It is quite funny.
They're like the perfect straight A students who are always very clean pressed and well groomed. And then there's me. I, um, am not quite like that. Well, okay. Not at all. So being with them is quite entertaining.
I just still don't understand why I must be related to these people.
Oh well. Happy Easter to all.
I know mine wasn't.